The Preacher's Wife

This week I have faced many fears. I took two extra calls in the NICU and felt total panic as I tried to resuscitate babies born blue and floppy. I got called down to be on hand when a crack addicted and intoxicated woman came in in labor and with no clue how far along she was. However, my biggest fear came when I was placed in the cross-roads of my two paths in life...being the minister's wife and being the doctor. Earlier this week, I was called by the senior minister at our church and told that a church family's teenage daughter was at LeBonheur, seriously ill. I went by to visit on a purely friendly, church related basis. It felt so awkward to walk into a patient's room in my white coat and stethescope and not be their doctor. We had a nice talk and I successfully avoided giving any medical opinions (which was easy since I had no idea what was wrong with the girl), but I thought to myself that I should probably pray with this family. The thought terrified me! In all seriousness, I would have felt far more comfortable sitting by her bed to do a spinal tap, than sit by her bed to pray. Now, I do pray all the time at work. Especially in the afore mentioned situations. And doing a spinal tap is a procedure that falls under the "pray without ceasing" category. But quietly..to myself, not aloud with the family. I realize that the system had succeeded. They had trained me well. Unknowingly, I had privatized and compartmentalized my faith so much that when "Dr. Allen" met "Mrs. Justin Allen" she was afraid. I am ashamed to say that I did not pray with them that day. I did go back today and with fear and trembling took their hands and prayed. If you had offered me a needle, I would have been more confident doing the tap. The stereotypical nature of this struggle is embarrassing. I can't believe I have become that doctor...at least I am still in training as a physician and as a Jesus follower.
On a happier note, and in the spirit of Emily's latest blog, I am posting one of my favorite baby picture of Camdyn taken when she was about seven or eight months old.